"Love at First Sight, Love That Lasts"
#92-05Presented on The Lutheran Hour on September 29, 2024
By Rev. Dr. Daniel Paavola, Guest Speaker
Copyright 2025 Lutheran Hour Ministries
Reflections
Text: Genesis 29:20
God's Word for us today is the story of Jacob and Rachel meeting for the first time, falling in love at first sight. We hear Genesis 29:20 - "So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her."
Love at first sight. Isn't that a wonderful idea? It could be simple. You saw that car on the car lot and without touching it, you said, "That's the one." You saw the puppy at the animal shelter and said, "You're coming home with me." Love at first sight could be even more, though, than a car or a puppy. It's a staple of movies and novels. A couple finds themselves on opposite sides of a crowd. They look across the room; they lock eyes with each other; questions race through their minds: "Who is this?" "I wonder, what's his name?" "Where has she been all my life?" They need answers, so they start to walk towards each other. Before they say, "Hello," they both know this is the one. And that's the story they're going to tell their children for decades to come. Love at first sight.
It makes for a great story, but does it ever really happen? Do people actually fall in love at first sight and stay in love for the rest of their lives? It's a great start to the story, and we're hoping it'll last.
In our text today, we have a love-at-first-sight beginning as Jacob and Rachel first meet. Jacob had no doubt Rachel was the one for him. He was glad to work for seven years for the chance to marry her. As our text says, those seven years seemed like only a few days because of his love for Rachel. What a beginning to their story! It has "living happily ever after" written all over it. But, remember, this isn't a TV movie. This is the story of two actual people. That makes us wonder. Could we ever have that life? Could we begin a relationship on that level: love at first sight? Has anyone looked at us and immediately there was love for a lifetime?
The wonderful answer to all those questions is "Yes!" Someone has looked at us with love at first sight. That's the beginning of our life with God. He's made us carefully and intentionally, so that we can say with Psalm 139:13-14 - "For You formed my inward parts; You knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works." God created us as His personal handiwork. Because of Him, we can say that we are wonderfully made. As our Creator, God is the Father who loves us. His is the first sight of love. Even before we were formed in the womb, He knew all our coming days and deeds. Psalm 139:16 says, "Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in Your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them."
The love of the Father for us is not just when we're newborn infants. It extends throughout our lives. The love of God continues even when God knows every detail of our lives—past, present, and future. A great example of that is when the rich young man came to Jesus asking what he had to do to inherit eternal life. Jesus reminded him of the Commandments, and the man claimed that he had done all of them all his life. Then comes a striking verse, Mark 10:21. "And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, 'You lack one thing, go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.' The rich man walked sadly away, for he had great riches."
Jesus knew that this man would reject Him and yet Jesus loved him. The man's life, entangled with riches, was not beautiful in itself, but Jesus loved him despite the hold riches had on him. His wealth was crushing the eternal life out of him. But that didn't alter the love Jesus had. This young man came up with his claim of complete obedience and, while Jesus could have destroyed that claim, He looked at him with love. We might have a measure of love at first sight when we know nothing of the person we just met. But Jesus knew every action of this young man and yet loved him. The young man walked away sorrowful, for he had great riches. His riches he had counted, but the love of Jesus he left unknown.
But the failure of the young man is, thankfully, not our story, or the story of Jacob and Rachel. Jacob loved Rachel at the very start of their life together and continued in that love. We have an even better beginning to our life-story with God. He has formed us with love, foreseen every day we will have. All our steps are under this banner: Love at first sight, love now, and love to the very last light.
So, if we start with love at first sight, can we just fast-forward to the end and say that they lived happily ever after? We'd love to do that, but almost always there's a problem with the story of love. That car you loved isn't quite as lovable after making payments for years. That cute puppy has now torn apart three pillows and a slipper.
It's more serious with that couple that fell into love at first sight. In the beginning, they have wonderful days together. It's all going well, but we're still holding our breath. It won't be this easy. From somewhere in the past, there's trouble coming. It's usually the ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. We thought they were long gone. But at the worst possible moment, when our happy couple is about to take a huge step forward, the ex-boyfriend shows up. The mood is broken. An argument follows. Angry words are said. It looks like it's all over.
Of course, it's just a story and the story's writers need this conflict so they can bring the couple back together later. But in real life, the past can certainly come back to destroy a perfect beginning. That was certainly the case for Jacob. Jacob worked seven years to get to marry Rachel. It should have been a perfect wedding, but it wasn't. It was about as bad as any wedding could be. Jacob married the wrong woman. That's a bad wedding. Rachel's father, Laban, switched Rachel for his older daughter, Leah. Jacob unwittingly married Leah, and the next morning realized what had happened. He demanded Laban make this right. But Laban said that it was the custom that the older sister should be married first. And so, Leah, the older, had to be his bride first. But Laban said that after the present week, he would allow Rachel to marry Jacob. What a way to start a marriage!
While marrying the wrong woman was a new experience for Jacob, deception in the darkness of a tent was nothing new to him. That was the past that came back to strike him. Years earlier, Jacob had stolen his father's blessing, stealing it from his brother, Esau. By imitating his brother, in the darkness of his father's tent, he took Esau's blessing. Immediately after, he fled from his family. He gained the blessing, but he would never see his father and mother again. What a price to pay for that lie. Besides the loss of seeing his family again, that same past came back again on his wedding day. Once again, as he had deceived his father in the darkness of the tent, now he was deceived himself.
Are we doomed to have our pasts return to ruin our best day? In fact, is every good day just an invitation for the past to find us again? If we believe that, what a sad way to live. It's true that a measure of what we've done can return to affect the present. If you're famous as the town gossip, I doubt anyone is going to trust you with news of any worth. But will we be revisited by every wrong we've done? No, the blessing of God is that when He forgives us, our sins are cleared away, washed by the blood of Jesus. John reminds us that "the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin .... If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Having cleansed us, the Father doesn't unearth those forgiven sins just to stain us again. God sees us as perfectly clean. The past sins we dread are gone from His sight. In Ephesians 5:27, Paul describes how God sees us, as a bridegroom sees his perfect bride. Jesus cleanses us "so that He might present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish."
This is how Jesus sees us always. It's not a first glance that will change when the truth about us comes out. God has already seen the entire course of our lives, but He endures with us through every turn. We don't need to fear that every good thing will be stained with an ancient wrong. Each day can be a gift of God: a present from the Bridegroom who loves us from first glance to last.
And so, back to our story, love at first sight might have to weather an invasion from the past. But despite that, the story needs to go on. Jacob married Rachel and thereby began a very complicated life with the two sisters. As we would expect, the rivalry between Leah and Rachel continued for years. Jacob was right there in the middle of it. I can't imagine any of us wishing to have the lives of Jacob, Leah, and Rachel. Jacob is torn back and forth between the two sisters. Wouldn't we wish for Jacob and Leah and Rachel a simpler life? Who wants to live that way, tugged at, back and forth?
Shouldn't love at first sight be just one love? It should be simple. But real life is often torn between two loves. It's like the challenge the prophet Elijah said to the people of Israel when they were torn between serving the idol Baal and the true God. Elijah challenged them this way, saying in 1 Kings 18, "How long will you go limping between two different opinions? If the Lord is God, follow Him, but if Baal, then follow him." Elijah proposed that two sacrifices and altars be built and then this contest would begin. He said, "You call upon the name of your god, and I will call upon the Name of the Lord, and the God who answers by fire, He is God. And all the people answered, 'It is well spoken.'"
We know how this challenge turned out. The prophets of Baal called and shouted all day but nothing happened. No one heard them, no idol delivered them, no fire fell to save them. But at the end of the day, Elijah prayed briefly and God's fire fell, consuming the sacrifice, the wood, and even the stones of the altar. God looked upon Elijah's simple prayer with power. It didn't take a whole day of useless asking, but only a prayer heard by a caring God. One short prayer and it was done. With this one display of power, God demonstrated His divine nature so that the people could see without question who was God. As they said, "the God who answers by fire, He is God." See what God has done and renew your first love!
Is that how God draws us to Himself each day, doing a miracle that can't be denied? Is that how He shows His love at first sight by doing miracles that overwhelm us? Well, yes and no. God certainly can do astonishing miracles, and we might be tempted to say, "Show us a miracle and we'll believe You. Show us a miracle and it'll be love at first sight."
But is it really our place to challenge God that way? And would we be satisfied with just one miracle? I'm afraid that we'd want to see another and then another, each one bigger and bigger. When would it stop? We might promise to fall in love with Him by seeing just one more miracle, but I think we'd put off love and always ask for more.
It's not our first sight of God that brings us to the love of God. Our relationship is based on this: God has seen us in love and has first come to us. It's His lasting love that chooses to see us. And His loving sight of us shows us what love is. 1 John 4:19 says, "We love because He first loved us." There are three key moments in the life of Jesus that show His love, and these moments build our love of Him. Surprisingly each of these is a moment in near darkness. Sadly, Jacob was deceived in the darkness of the tent, but we're going to three dark places to see the truth of God's love at first sight.
Let's go to Christmas Eve. Look into the darkness of the stable; see the manger in which Jesus is laid. Join the shepherds who raced to find Him there, trusting that this simple infant was the Savior of the world. In the darkness of a stable, the love of God was shining. In that darkness, there is no deception. We don't have to imitate being someone other than who we are. We're not there to steal a blessing from someone else. Instead, here's the good news: a Savior has come for all the world. God's blessing came to everyone, shining from the center of a dark stable. This is love's first look.
After the Christmas stable, we go to an even greater darkness. Come to the cross where Jesus is dying during the three hours of darkness. We join so many others there, amazed to see the wonder of a God who chooses to die for the world. The innocent Man dies for the sins of the guilty. The Son is given to death because of the love of the Father, love even for those who crucify His Son. Look into the darkness of that afternoon and see God's love that covers us from birth to death. It is love that lasts.
But three days later we have one more look into the darkness. Come to the empty tomb and stoop to look into its darkness. There is no one there. In the dark, see only the empty grave clothes. He has gone, replacing death with life, and fulfilling His promise to rise again. He emptied the tomb, leaving its darkness, so we can see Him in the light. That empty tomb is the final expression of His love, love we know by the sight of the empty grave.
In all these ways, God shows His love for us. He has loved us from His first thought and His first sight of us. And He has given us Jesus' life so that we can know His love. In love, God speaks to us, assuring us that His love is eternal. His love for us and the love He creates in us, these are our first love and they will be our lasting love. Jacob stole a blessing in a dark tent and was himself deceived years later. But we live in the light of God's full sight of us. We have the love of God stretched over us for all time. His is a love from first glance to eternity, a love that starts, a love that lasts. Amen.
Please pray with me: Heavenly Father, thank You for loving us from before the foundation of the world. Continue to show us Your love and assure us that Your love will bring us to eternal life with You. We pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.
Reflections for September 29, 2024
Title: Not the First, But the Second
Mark Eischer: Joining us now here's Lutheran Hour Speaker, Dr. Michael Zeigler.
Michael Zeigler: So Dan, you've written a book that we've talked about a little, Patience and Perfection, and in the book you're helping us read that account by exploring themes or patterns of how God works, and not only how He's worked in the past, but how He's working today in our lives. This week, I thought we could talk about the theme of, "it's not the first, but the second that counts." And that sounds a lot like Jacob's story. So tell us a little bit about that pattern.
Dan Paavola: Well, it's a pattern I think we've probably all experienced. And if I could just start, I'll just pitch a few examples, and I know you and I'll have many more. That first one, it wasn't much, but second was better. And for instance, the first car that I had was not much. I won't defame the company that produced it, but it really was bad, really bad. And in general, yeah, the second is better. I mean, with caution. I've actually had some folks who say, "Well, I'm the firstborn in the family. Does that mean I'm nothing?" No, no, no. You are very valuable. I did have one lady ask me, "Does that mean that I need to get rid of my first husband because the second one's going to be so much better?" I said, no, no, no, no. Let's not take this too far. But as a general rule, there is a biblical pattern that "it's not Esau the firstborn, but Jacob whom I love," there is a classic one. And we could go on and on and such. And maybe the bedrock on this one, it's not the first Adam, but it's the second Adam that's going to carry the day and carry the world as our Savior.
Michael Zeigler: There seems to be a close tie with the instant perfection and patient relationship theme too, because so many of the seconds in the biblical narrative are the result of human error or human sin or mistakes. So obviously the Garden of Eden, there's a big mistake there. There's a big error. But also Esau, he despises his birthright. He sells it for a bowl of stew. So like God's making do, so to speak, with the second, with Jacob—and Jacob, he's a piece of work, too. But God's going to patiently work with him.
Dan Paavola: Exactly. And think of even, well, this is just a snippet of Jacob's wedding experience. Well, it wasn't the first, but the second that really counted. And you talk about a wedding that had some bad moments—that has to take the cake. When you marry the wrong woman. I'll tell you, I've seen some marriage difficulties. The cake didn't turn out well. Yeah, what's that compared to, "I married the wrong person." Boy.
Michael Zeigler: Yeah. Yeah, so I think what the theme is telling us, on the one hand, it's just an observation like we were doing before about how some things don't quite work out the way we expect them at first. But there's also this assurance that when things don't work out as expected and you're going to—be prepared because life's just not going to happen the way you expect it—going back to the river analogy, there's going to be surprising turns and twists. But in the midst of that, God is faithful, God is patient, and He'll work with us, even give us the second Adam, and a new creation, a new life in Christ.
Dan Paavola: You just said it so beautifully. It harnesses that idea of patience in that first (one). So if you step into the first experience, again, it's first car, first job, whatever, you probably want that to last about, I don't know, half an hour, and be done. And wouldn't you like to check in with God say, "Okay, I'm in it." That first might last a bit longer than that. And then eventually the second comes and we all—well, on this side of the experience—we all know that. It's that Psalm 30:5, "Weeping endures for a night, but joy comes in the morning." There's a great first-second sequence that God has in mind for us.
Michael Zeigler: I've been reading ahead, getting ready for these upcoming sermons in Genesis. And there's that moment after Jacob serves his second seven-year sentence to pay for his second wife that he wasn't expecting. He tries to leave. He asks Laban if he can leave. But no, God's got another six years for him there. So again, he did not expect it was going to be 20 years. When Rebecca sent him, she's like, "Hey, go there for a little bit. I'll send for you. Come right back home."
Dan Paavola: No, no homecoming. Not at any time you could imagine.
Michael Zeigler: Yeah. Well, so what does this tell us about what we can expect how God's going to be at work in our lives?
Dan Paavola: I think there is a reassurance that the first can lead to a second. God is not done with you because you're in this position this time, and I know that you wanted to make that change right now. But maybe there's a purposefulness to where you are. And then be prepared for the surprise of God. And the next step where He takes you. And it might be what you've been praying for. Maybe you've been asking for that change and you have it very clearly in mind. Or it might be something altogether different, and you'll look back and say, "I never knew I would be here. I never knew I would love this new job and work," and all the things God has in mind for us, to either show us by faith from a distance or just say, "Trust Me." Patient relationship. "Trust Me, that second step is coming." And ultimately it is. We could just bundle all of this life together now as a first step. And the resurrection to eternal life is the ultimate second step, and I don't think we need to go any further. We are there. Happy, done.
Michael Zeigler: Yeah, that's a great insight. This whole, there's a reason why we call this mortal life. It's not yet true life. We are not to the second step yet.
Dan Paavola: Exactly. And so right now we're okay. I heard—and I am sorry, I don't know the source of this—but I heard this as a response. There was an elderly lady who had a lot of health issues, and when you asked her, how are you doing, knowing that she had many pains and ailments, she said, "There's nothing wrong with me that the resurrection won't cure." I thought that's a great, great response. They might still be there tomorrow. Yeah, but the resurrection's coming.
Michael Zeigler: Well, thank you Dan for being with us and your labor to help us see how all the Scriptures (were) written to give us hope.
Dan Paavola: Well, you're welcome. Thank you so much.
Music Selections for this program:
"A Mighty Fortress" arr. Peter Prochnow. Used by permission.
"Crucifer" by Sydney H. Nicholson, arr. Peter Prochnow. Used by permission.
